when we focus on amplifying differences, it reinforces spotlight syndrome

this was what i realised during my welcome dinner, where i mentioned to my friends and girlfriend, about how it was honestly pretty awkward and how i tried my best to fit in - being the only guy, different set, phase of life, and perhaps intellectual in convos, as well as interest, it was genuinely difficult to keep myself interested while controlling my expression so that i don’t appear too disinterested.

however i constantly tell myself that i’m always learning and that it is truly a situation of [[ spotlight syndrome ]] more than anything.

this was roughly what i wrote from my journal, for this particular note i’m still not really sure what i’m trying to say here